What My Mother Doesn't Know

Does my mother know how much I love her? Do mothers everywhere know how much they are appreciated? Probably not. After working long hours that only end when her weary head is the last person's to hit the pillow at night; after countless selfless acts for everyone else with no reciprocation; after keeping an entire family together by taking everything onto herself--it can seem more like a job than a blessing. It wasn't until I became a mother myself that I began to understand the selfless love she has for me.

What my mother doesn't know is that I watch her every move. I pay attention to the way she handles all conflict with a firm but understanding demeanor. I notice every time her face furrows in concentration as she tries to solve the never ending problems of her children. I can sense the frustration of a woman who is constantly asked for advice that so often falls on deaf ears.

What my mother doesn't know is that I listen to her every word. I see the excitement that shines brightly in her eyes when she shares a funny story or tells a terrible joke. I see the panic in her eyes when she realizes she forgot one of the many million things she must remember to do in a day. I see the love in her eyes as she gets a rare opportunity to hold one of her children or relive a moment through her grandchildren.

What my mother doesn't know is that I see how she keeps our family together. I see how the house is only cleaned by the touch of her hand. I know that her household is only fed and in clean clothes because she gives up every free moment to care for them. I see her exhaustion as she runs from one event to the next errand only to recieve the next request.

And what my mother doesn't know is that I want to be just like her. I think of her in my daily chores, in the discipline of my children, in the wee hours of the morning when I feed my daughter. I think of the sacrifices she made for me and all the little things she has done for me that she thinks I haven't noticed. I want to tell her, but because I am a mother I will forever be too busy, too stretched, too under-appreciated, and too tired to find the time. So I will continue to pray for my angel on Earth--my mother,